Reflecting on 2007

For me personally, 2007 rates as one of the worst years of my life; it will never replace 1990, the year Ruth, my first wife passed from Brain Cancer or the year preceding that 1989 where I had to watch the spirit and fight and joy for life slowly dim in Ruth-cancer is such a mean and devastating disease; no person or animal should be subjected to this form of slow and often painful death. I'm not sure that 2007 can be worse than 1993 and 1994 where I had to endure one of the most painful mistakes of my life-a marriage to a woman who got pregnant to snatch a husband (here I am the fool who got suckered--the guy who did the right thing who ends up paying for it later) Talk about a rebound relationship! I have no regrets because I have a Son Connor who I love; maybe someday he will see for himself the self centered nature of his Mother. Maybe someday he will discover the horrible act his Mother committed in her previous life. Maybe someday Connor will understand that his Mother contributed nothing to his upbringing in his early years with me...but these are discoveries he must make alone and without my help.

2007 represented LOSS.

Income came to a grinding halt in March 2007 after the six month severance expired. Jobs were few and certainly not the pay grade of the last three years.

Joy gave up her Horse, Lucky, to a friend's daughter.

A very close and dear friend for Joy, Shelly, passed from cancer.

"Birdie" our Cockatiel bird died.

Simba our beloved Siamese cat died.

We are selling our house that we love not because we can no longer afford it, but more because it is just too much house. With no more kids in the house, we don't need the room.

Connor returned to his Mother in Redding and she has been taking me to Court in California for Child Support, all because her husband of ten years divorced her and said he had enough as well. I still waffle as to whether or not I should fight for custody, but you know what? Let Connor discover for himself what life with his Mother is all about.

For the first time in 32 years, I am thinking of doing something other than Radio to earn a paycheck.

Let's see-- no degree, no certifications, no licenses to speak of, 53 years old and the only thing I've ever done is speak on the radio or direct the programming on the radio or voice commercials to be played on the radio...pretty narrow corridor of opportunity-this radio thing. The plan is to sell our house in Raleigh and move to Savannah and rent; maybe I can use the time to get a Real Estate License or finish my degree or get some form of certification that will allow me to do something else to earn a paycheck if I so choose.

I enjoy being on the air and will probably do Mornings on BIG 98. It's all about generating content anymore, everything else is superfluous. Create great content that people want and get it on all the media platforms available. I got into this business of radio to be on the air, to entertain, to inform, to give back to the community...sometimes things have a way of coming full circle and for the better.

The last few days I came down with a terrible stomach virus or flu, couldn't eat, passed out in bed, feeling like someone punched me a million times in the stomach...the thought or smell of food made me gag. Here it is January 1st 2008 and I feel like I have purged all the toxins out of my body as well as all the bad crap that happened in 2007. I have shaved all the hair off my face and have a new outlook and feeling for the year ahead.

The prospects for 2008 are looking GREAT! Time to put the past behind me and move forward with a positive vibe!!!

LOSS and GRIEF are Powerful Emotions

SIMBA

Today, Joy and I decided we had to put our cat of 9 years, Simba, down. Simba developed Feline Urinary Syndrome, which is common in male cats, tiny crystals block the urethra preventing the cat from emptying their bladder. This causes extreme discomfort and can be fatal because urea backs up into the system and results in uric poisoning.

Last week, I had noticed that Simba was trying to mark the wall which I thought was unusual. He was also looking a little thin and I said to Joy that something is wrong. We then noticed he was having trouble in the litter box and not urinating. We took him to an emergency VET Hospital and they confirmed that his bladder was firm and full and that he probably had a blockage. I told Joy that I did not care what the cost was, we needed to give him a chance...he is like a child for us, not just a pet cat and he was not going down without a fight. The bill was well over a thousand dollars, most people would say that's crazy to spend that amount of money on a cat--I really don't care what others think. After they put a catheter in him and relieved the bladder, they also found the crystals causing the blockage...he was on an IV and had a urine bag when we took him to our regular vet on Monday Morning. They did some x-rays and discovered that he had a pea sized stone in his bladder that could be dissolved through diet...the good news was nothing showed in his kidneys...he stayed with the Vet for a couple of days, we hoped that he would recover, but he gradually got worse and the Vet called Thursday to let Joy know that he was again blocked.

We did everything we could do for Simba. Joy is beating herself up thinking somehow she is responsible for what happened to Simba---I told her that she is NOT responsible.

There was a LOT of crying going on since returning to Raleigh last night from Savannah...I loved that cat so much that I could not bear the thought of putting him down. Joy spent the night holding him and talking to him and loving on Simby...every time I came into where Simba was I balled like a baby, I just could not look at him without feeling a deep sense of loss and grief...it is terrible to lose a soul you have come to love with your heart; I know I will not be the same without Simba---it will take a while for me to recover from this loss and the miserable part is that it is Christmas.

I Love You Simba.

HOME Visit

First let me say there are too many user names and passwords in our lives...WTF, who is going to remember all this crap?!

I have returned to the land of the working stiff. It's been four weeks since I accepted the Operations Manager position with Adventure Radio (read: Triad Broadcasting) in Savannah, GA/Hilton Head SC.

It is a job. Not the best job in the world, but it allows me to pursue my Voiceover business and we get to stay in the Southeast. The cost of living in Savannah is cheaper than Raleigh. The housing market has slowed and we have reduced the price of our house twice since we listed it. The houses we have seen in Savannah have been so so.

We are downsizing by choice since Connor will no longer be living with us--which makes me sad. I know he wants his Mother but his Mother has made my life miserable...she is a poor excuse for a parent and now she is living off of other people in the name of her Son...such a pathetic existence; I feel sorry for Connor that he does not see through her bullshit.

Lucky, Joy's horse has been given to Kim's daughter, Brittany. Kim is a friend of Joy's and her daughter lives literally above the barn that Lucky will be living in. Brittany has a non-profit and she will utilize Lucky for children who are handicapped...this is good for Lucky. So Happy Lucky is getting on in age almost 29 years old and making the move to HOT Savannah climate probably would not be good for him. Joy can see Lucky anytime she wants when she is back in the Raleigh area.

Birdie has kicked the bucket. She was an older cockatiel which we all enjoyed. She could be onery and bitchy but she was a good bird. Joy returned home from Savannah, Birdie laid a rotten egg and keeled over.

Simba our Siamese Cat has a heart murmur. I am NOT going to be sending our cat to a feline cardiologist...we will see how it goes. Joy of course is showering him with attention because of his new found illness...sounds like GUILT.

Rocky is Rocky is Rocky. I missed that dog. Coming home for a short four day weekend visit, I was amazed at how much I missed having the animals around and they missed me as well...LOVE is all around.

We bought a vacuum today. After ten years the other KENMORE bit the dust so to speak...but hey ten years is a long time for a vacuum cleaner. When I was growing up we had the Monster STEEL and Iron Kirby...that thing was solid...you could drop it from a ten story building onto concrete and it would still suck the dirt...amazing piece of machinery. Now these things are made of plastic, but Kenmore continues to be a brand that delivers. It's funny how a good vacuum makes your world a better place to live.

Maureen is our STAGER. We decided that maybe we need some help in staging the house to sell. She came in and made some immediate suggestions which Joy and I have executed...de-cluttering by eliminating books from the bookcase; taking the curtains down from the doors to allow light into the living room; getting some "props" to add color to the various rooms, getting rid of a Persian rug under the dining room table to better showcase the hardwood floors; removing the weight bench from the boy's room and making it into a "girls" room with brighter colors; taking a leaf out of the dining room table and making it smaller to increase the "size" of the room; getting rid of some of Joy's plants that were cluttering the room...it's amazing how someone can come into your house and point out things that may be negatives to a potential buyer and to add things that can be pleasing to the eye. I hope this helps our cause...if not the price needs to come down again.

Did some yard work. There is something Zen about cutting grass and putting things in order...or at least it seems things are in order when you trim the grass and and weed whack the weeds and blow leaves off the sidewalk...pleasing to the eye I suppose and it gives one a sense of accomplishment for however brief a moment...yard work unfortunately never stays done. The FALL days are a little cooler, not so humid and very pleasant...of course I would rather be playing Golf, but we have work that needs to be done...maybe tomorrow.

Time for some wine.

ACTING WITH VOICES

Well the GOOD news is that I do not think I will be "On The Beach" for a year. September 6th 2006 is the day I got laid off from Clear Channel Radio Raleigh. It was amicable for the most part, they gave me a six month severance to shut the hell up and go stand in the corner. They allowed me "resign" my position because they hate the word restructure which is what ALL of Clear Channel is doing restructuring, downsizing, cutting expenses...call it what you want but it is what it is and I got caught in the cross fire. It's funny when I think about the fact that Clear Channel Raleigh is no better in the ratings than when I was the OM "almost" one year ago. They switched WRDU to Country (which I advised against), they put John Boy & Billy on in the Morning and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on Television advertising and the best that they have come up with is a 2.5 share 12+ Persons...only slightly better than the 1.9 share the Class A 6,000 watt "third" country station is pulling down...I think someone's head will roll on this decision, but it won't be mine, I'm already gone! The only upside is that G105 is now #1 12+, it's a terrible thing that they generated so much interest in the station during the Spring Book because the very popular Morning Guy revealed that he had a brain tumor---great..."The Brain Tumor Book". Clear Channel is a piece of work.

The picture at the top is my new LOGO for my Voiceover business and it was designed by Nancy Romness, a very talented Artist and friend who resides with her husband Mark in Charleston...I really like it and have already made up a whole bunch of business cards that also turned out very nice. The Voiceover business is very competitive. I will be starting Voice Coaching lessons (15 weeks) with Nancy Wolfson out of Los Angeles...from what I hear in the voice acting world she is one of the best. Had to cancel an L.A. Audiobook seminar with Pat Fraley, also a highly touted voice coach--maybe next year, he holds this workshop only once per year...damn!

By the next posting I should have GOOD News to share.

No Patience

I read the other day that the police arrested Travus T. Hipp for possession with intent to sell. I think these days he lives somewhere in Nevada and does political (left) commentary on a few radio stations. In the day he was the beacon of the hippie philosophy and his stories and commentary always reflected that. Today Travus is still at it and he is 70 years old...the only thing I can think of is that he pissed some Republican off. What a waste of taxpayer money...leave the old man alone!

Speaking of getting old, it seems that my patience with everything is waning. Life seems especially short these days and I don't have time for stupidity when it shows itself, which lately has been often. Stupid people like George Bush, stupid people who say stupid things, stupid people doing really stupid stuff...stupidity sucks and it is such a big waste of time and in some cases skin. People who drive recklessly and feel entitled that they should go faster than anyone else and not stop when everyone else stops--they stupidly endanger everyone else on the road and they should be stopped, say with a missile launched from my 1996 Honda Accord...yeah I could do that and feel no remorse, that's how I feel about stupid people...so don't piss me off by doing stupid things, I just don't have the patience for it anymore!

There should be a movie made about angry, pissed off women on hormones suffering from menopause that take out the gangs of L.A. and clean up the city once and for all. I would pay money to see that movie and might even buy the DVD when it comes out. Racist? Naw, just tired of stupid people fucking up the world we live in. The movement is so strong and effective in Los Angeles that gangs all over the U.S. disband, turn in their guns and go to Disney World for the first time in their miserable lives. After the three days of fun and frolicking in Orlando, they're gathered up and sent to IRAQ for the next three years and we bring the National Guard home...how's that for a freaking plan?

Here's a joke my wife sent me...made me laugh out loud. I think people should set aside an hour each day to laugh out loud, laugh until tears come to their eyes, until their stomachs hurt from laughing...sure would be less prozac being dispensed.

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that is was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair.
He had no arms or legs. "You're not really asking me to consider you,
are you?" the widow said. "Just look at you! You have no legs!"

The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed?

"The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the door
bell, didn't I?"

The wedding is scheduled for Saturday...

There don't you feel better now?

Gene Simmons

What the HELL is so fucking special about Gene Simmons?

KISS? They sucked!!!

Reality Show?! Are you fucking kidding me?

Who am I to complain? He has a multi-million dollar house and I do not.

Gene Simmons has the KISS legacy and I do not ( but who fucking cares?)

He has a Playmate for a girlfriend (that's right not wife-girlfriend and they have two kids!)

He's making lots of m0ney. (Jonah you are a freaking loser dude!)

Seriously, I don't fucking get it...kill me now!

Smart guy though...he makes it work for him.

Fucking ROCK STARS...I HATE them!

I am Feeling a Little White & Nerdy

The i-Phone

Las Vegas

Recently I did a quickie Business trip to Lost Wages. Brutal. Got on a plane at 6am. Waited in Charlotte for an hour and a half, then got on the connection for a four and half hour, fun filled and uncomfortable flight to a large speck in the middle of nowhere. The high that day in Las Vegas was 104 degrees, whew, toasty!

Have you noticed that the airlines have turned into the old Mexican bus companies? I remember seeing the old blue buses in Tijuana crammed with too many people and they all had chickens in cages and goats on leashes. Usually the buses were so overcrowded that some of the bus riders were hanging out the windows. Now it seems anyone and everyone flies. The airlines pack you in like sardines in a tin box. 150+ people sitting three across with their chickens in crates and over sized personal carry on bags crammed beneath seats designed for people with small butts. Absolutely no room to move, very painful and a little smelly-The airlines should pay us to fly. Thought I was on the Mexican Blue Bus to Ensenada!

How about that airline food? Or maybe the lack of airline food. I opened the smallest raisin box in the history of mankind, it might have had twenty raisins tops o.k. maybe it was twelve raisins. Bottled Water now comes in the eighth of a bottle size---I call them two gulps and you're done. Airlines must import in their food from a parallel universe where people are all 13 inches high...why bother? Every time I fly there is some new innovative way to cut costs...the air conditioning is barely on as we taxi out to the runway and they don't start up the other jet engine until just before they are #1 for take-off---enough already!

There are also waaay too many "guys" posing as Flight Attendants...who wants some hairy guy who shaves his back asking you if you would like coffee or Hot Tea? I don't even know of any women who have that desire; besides most of these guys are gay...I hardly ever see Hispanic or Asian women as Flight Attendants on Domestic Flights, very few African Americans, what's up with that?

I arrive in Vegas and get a cab to the Hotel. Thought it wise to check-in, freshen up by throwing water on my face and change into a business suit for the business meeting. I wrestled long and hard with this "suit and tie" notion, given that even birds were not flying that day because of the intense Summer heat, but hey, it's Vegas and you gotta look good. The majority of people I ran into that day in Las Vegas looked like they just got out of bed, even the guy I met with had no tie...what was I thinking!? Anyway, I go with the suit, I go to hail a taxi and the very same woman who just dropped me off 45 minutes ago is the same cabbie picking me up to go to East Tropicana--what are the odds? In fact, she starts freaking on the whole event. Friendly though, a chatty older woman talking about her dogs in Vegas...during the ride, I made a phone call, put my phone on my belt clip and guess what? It pops off as I was getting out of the cab and now I have no cell phone. I immediately call the cab company to let them know I was just dropped off and my phone is in their cab...they don't really give a rats ass about it. They make a lame attempt of hailing drivers over the radio and saying no one responded...Freaking wonderful...I'm in Las Vegas, it's a Million degrees in the shade and I've lost every phone number in my cell phone...it's not really losing the cell phone that bothers me, it's all of the numbers stored in the damn thing...gone, lost, adios, too bad, tough luck. I had turned off the ringer in anticipation of being in a business meeting--so forget telling me I should have just called the phone.

What happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas. What's lost in Vegas, also stays in Vegas...money, jewelry, cell phones, wallets, your feeble mind...nothing is safe. Money seems to disappear with each step in Vegas. What's really painful to watch are the poor bastards waiting to leave Vegas at the airport feeding the slots with their last five dollars...whoops that would be me. Pathetic.

Meeting went well. Could not wait to leave. Getting a cab to leave seemed like an eternity. Got back to the hotel, changed into normal desert survival clothing and took a quick tour of the Hotel and Casino. It seems like everyone around you is losing money in the casino...you can really see it some of these poor bastards' eyes; that glazed over, empty, I just lost my entire life savings type of look. You can find them hovering around the many ATM machines in the casinos...or the bars...they ain't drinking, they are wishin they were drinkin...if they just had some money, they could have a nice drink and win all that lost money back....yeah right.

Let's face it. Las Vegas is designed to take your money and keep it. The odds are in favor of the House....ALWAYS. They may let you have the temporary "happy" feeling of winning, but in the end the casino will get back any money they "gave" you and then some. You WIN in Vegas if you can take in a show for FREE, eat a couple of good meals, get a "comp'd" room and break even on the alloted gambling money you may have brought along on your little family vacation or business trip. Never believe though that you will actually take a big wad of cash from the casino and deposit in your Des Moines Iowa Bank account back home--NOT gonna happen.

I ended up having some cheap pizza and a Corona for dinner and turning in early. The temptation to sit at a blackjack table was pretty strong though. I was proud of my "just say no" attitude and was content watching TV in my room...besides, I had some thinking to do about what brought me to Vegas that day, the meeting I attended and what the potential results might be. My internal time clock was a mess, so I really needed the time to chill out, rest and think...hmmm no cell phone now what?

I have to say that not having a cell phone for 24 hours and traveling was driving me a little nutty, however, I realized just how idiotic a cell phone is, especially when you observe and listen to others using their cell phones..."Hi, I'm at the airport, yeah uh huh, waiting for the plane, picking my nose hairs, you know...hopefully it won't be late, well gotta run, bye." As soon as they hang up they are talking to yet another person about "nothing". You begin to wonder if there isn't a greater need to just be connected to someone familiar at all times, especially when you are in unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations like an airport...too weird...now my head hurts.

As my favorite comic Denis Leary would say, "Shut the Hell up, just get your whiny ass on the freaking bus...uhhh the airplane!

The U.S. Open 2007 Oakmont CC

Whenever you think you are really GOOD at golf this weekend, watch the carnage at the U.S. Open. 7,230 yards of pure terror to the world's BEST golfers.

Golf is simply a game to be played and you better come to the greens with some respect.

Thankful...Sometimes We Forget to be...

As a golfer, uhh weekend hacker who respects the game of golf, I greatly admire the heroes of the game like Ben Hogan. Ben Hogan is special for his work ethic and overcoming a huge personal trauma where doctors told him he would never play golf again. He won more majors following his tragic car accident and injuries than before. Hogan was in the top ten 83% of the time out of over 300 tournaments. He won 9 of 16 Majors between 1946 and 1953, six of those majors followed his Summer of 1949 Car Accident in West Texas. 1953 was an exceptional year winning all three majors he entered just four years after nearly dying on a foggy West Texas road.

My wife bought me a set of Ben Hogan irons, years ago. I should take better care of them.

Ben Hogan reminds me that I am a lucky guy. Despite setbacks and enduring low points in life there is much to be thankful for. Sometimes we forget to be Thankful.

I am Thankful...

that I have a wife who loves me, lets me play golf and buys me Ben Hogan irons ;>)

that I am physically able to play golf and enjoy the game, playing in the grass and the fresh air.

that I have people in my life that love me and care about me.

that I have healthy kids.

that I find happiness in my animals and they find happiness in me.

that I have a talent and am able to make a living with that talent.

that I have had the opportunity to share what I know with others.

that I am able to Travel and see the world, hear the world and experience all of the wonderful things the world has to offer.

that I am healthy despite having to take medication and not always doing the right thing.

that I have never seen or experienced the real tragedy of war and death while serving my Country in the military.

that I have survived and grown from the terrible grief that comes when someone you love dies.

that I never bought a Bee Gees or STYX album.

There's probably a lot more to be thankful for...just give me a moment.

ROCKY Part II

You ever heard of a talking dog? We have one.

The Obituary

Some people might call it morbid fascination, but ever since I turned 50, I always check out the local Obituaries,

"...wow Jonah you have waayyyy too much time on your hands."

The scary part is when you read about these folks and they are your age or younger. He was a gardener, blah blah blah, he enjoyed the outdoors, blah, blah, he was an accomplished bingo player, blah, ba-blah, blah-blah! Ironically, you never hear how the dead bastard used to beat his wife or lock his kids in the dark basement, they are always loving...

So I decided to write my own Obituary...I really had a difficult time coming up with anything worthwhile, sort of sad really but a great exercise and a wonderful motivator to get my ass in gear and make a difference dammit!

Jonah Parker Cummings II, a radio broadcaster also known as Jon Robbins died today. Jonah was born on March 13, 1954 and is survived by his wife of ten years Florence Joy Cummings, Raleigh, a saint of a woman who Jonah should have treated better; Son Jonah Christian Cummings, Chapel Hill; Son Connor Scout Cummings, Raleigh; Sister, Tracy Cummings; Sister Carmela Sasaki; Brother David Phillips; Brother, Andrew Cummings, Brother, Norman Cummings and Celene Edmonds, a horrid, blood sucking little troll who lives off of pond scum and was his trailer trash ex-wife and mother of his youngest son. Jonah was predeceased by his Father Jonah Parker Cummings, Mother Zela DeBarro, Sister Coral-Ann Cummings and his oldest Son’s Mother Ruth Krauss-Cummings.

Jonah was born in Gulfport, Mississippi and called California home. He played football, made ok grades, did really stupid stuff and graduated from Huntington Beach High School in 1972. He enlisted in the U.S. Army and served as Missle Specialist for the 1st Armored Division in Schwabach, Germany. Following three years of active duty Jonah was honorably discharged in 1975 as a Vietnam Era Veteran. Jonah Cummings attended Humboldt State University, Arcata, California majoring in Journalism and had aspirations to become a serious journalist and writer exposing corrupt politicians and making the world a better place. Instead he dropped out after three years became a low-life Radio DJ spinning everything from Rubber Band Man to The Grateful Dead. Jonah began his broadcasting career in Eureka, CA at KFMI-FM and spent thirty plus years in Radio as an On-Air Talent, News Director, Program Director and Regional VP/Programming in Washington D.C.; Seattle; Spokane; Portland; Eugene; Corvallis; Minneapolis; Sacramento; Raleigh; Detroit; Springfield/Hartford and Charleston, SC. He was active in various charities and organizations including Make-A-Wish and Crimestoppers. He left radio in 2007 and became a political blogger, human rights activist and ball shagger at Rusty’s golf driving range. Golf was a game Jonah passionately enjoyed; he never had a hole in one or scored a round under par, but he did play the Princeville Course in Kauai and holed out an Eagle on a par 4 one time. He also loved to travel throughout Europe, Hawaii, and North America wreaking havoc and conducting classes on wine tasting with the locals daily at 6pm. When Jonah died he was an unemployed loser living off the wages his wife made as a Dog Groomer forced to squeeze anal glands on stupid stinking little dogs. His rotting body will be placed in a Hefty Garbage Bag and set out at curbside this Wednesday evening for Trash pick-up on Thursday morning. In lieu of flowers, send money to pay the Garbageman.

Golf-The Game That Comes and Goes

Was invited out to Eagle Ridge by Bob "The Blade" Robinson. He owed me for a round last year at The Preserve-so now we're even.

Had the pleasure of working with Bob up until I accepted a nice severance package from CC in September last year. The Blade has been around for years in Raleigh radio on WRDU. After the new guys from Charlotte came in and RDU flipped to Country & Western back in November, Blade lasted for maybe a week before walking off the set to the sounds of The Who...bold ballsy move, but I think everyone who knew Blade appreciated the gesture...screw the man...chalk one up for the working stiff. Isn't it funny how they don't call it Country AND WESTERN anymore?

Blade ended up in New Bern-Greenville on Classic Rock WSFL where he is happy, though broke to put it in his words. He's working and he's living close to The Atlantic---not bad in my opinion...it's always nice to have more money, but as I commented during our Golf Game yesterday, it's amazing how long you go without any money and cited myself as an example.

The Golf Round included Mark Brown a friend of Blade's who works at Heritage in the Pro Shop, a funny guy who apparently loves Sammy Davis imitations...Blade and Mark had fun talking up the Lounge Lizards...we'll be here all week, try the prime rib, tip the waitress and don't forget Fish Fry Friday...the impressions were endless...we all had trouble remembering who exactly was in the Rat Pack...Frank Sinatra of course, head rat, Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin (he was not even mentioned by anyone during the course of this meandering conversation), Peter Lawford---but the elusive "rat" I could see in my mind's eye but could not remember his name was Joey Bishop. Joey Fucking Bishop. I can rest easy now, but maybe should consider buying some ginkgo.

Saturday Golf was decent until the back 9, (a double on a par five and a triple on a freaking par three--13 fucking strokes in two holes---should have quit after nine) in fact had a 42 to Blade's 43 on the front 9 which I knew just pissed him off---Blade is very serious about his golf which is cool, but it's just a game to me and I know I am just a weekend hacker who lives in the eighties and low nineties---every once in a while this blind squirrel finds a nut and I'll shoot a sub 80 score---let's see--three times in ten years...did I say Weekend Hacker? Hey when you play once maybe twice a week and seldom practice what can anyone expect? There won't be any fantasies of Senior PGA floating around in my head...maybe a weekend at Pinehurst, just to say I've played it. Golf does not define my life---like it, love to play, respect the game, enjoy the camaraderie, like to compete but will never play for money, will never throw clubs into a lake and will never give myself a score higher than an eight unless I am in a Tournament like member-guest or in a rare instance of playing "Follow The Wolf".

Golf is a difficult game. Everything must come together perfectly to have a decent round and score. You can drive the ball a mile one day but suck at putting or you could be sinking all your putts but you spent three or four strokes trying to get on the green...you could have driving and putting down but spend the day chili dipping your chip shots or dealing with the dreaded "S" word. When you consider what pros must do (putting four good scores together on consecutive days)--it's a game you certainly learn to respect. Don't get me wrong, I aspire to be better, but only within the context of what I have invested. If I am not playing and practicing everyday, my expectations are not going to be high-I don't want to be miserable all the time. If I am at the range everyday working on my game fundamentals and playing three to four rounds a week and I am still not very good, then I need lessons and a lot of them!

91 today. A 13 stroke swing from just a few days ago...now that's consistency.

Ouch babe, that hurts. We'll be here all week....

78

Golf is an elusive sport. It's one on one---you against the course. Sure you may play with others and you may even play for money at times, but the real game is within yourself. I've been practicing my miserable "short" game in our backyard...chipping the ball to be specific. Practicing a chip with a 56 and 60 degree wedge that goes up in the air and a specific distance (about 15-20 yards) to a target I laid out in the grass...it helps. Today I was on the course, hole #17, drove it a good 275 yards, probably rolled another 50 yards and I had maybe 70 yards to a pin which was ten paces from the front of the green, tucked in the left corner. I hit a pitch shot off of a slight downhill lie with a 60 degree wedge, just as I had practiced it these past few days, the ball bounced twice and went into the hole for an Eagle 2, the guy I was playing with said he never seen a shot like that in person...first Eagle hole out for me on a par four-what a rush-yes, practice, practice, practice.
We're not moving to Fredericksburg, VA. Lovely quaint historic village surrounded by urban sprawl. Literally Fredricksburg is a bedroom community for Washington D.C. Lots of FBI given the proximity to Quantico, lots of Military, lots of Federal Government worker bee types making the two hour commute to downtown D.C. dealing with the white knuckle traffic and the constant road rage...wow, who would want to do this? Everyday? Crazy! I would not have to commute, in fact I would have been on a reverse commute if I had accepted the job. The reason I turned it down is the Housing costs. $300,000 will get you a shack on a piece of dirt in a crapped out neighborhood---the difference between Raleigh and Fredicksburg was mind numbing. It's really too bad, it would have been a great gig with a locally owned group of radio stations, but you cannot pay people small market wages when everything around you screams Washington D.C.---well I guess you can, and there are people who are working there, scratching out a life...I'm done scratching.

Was on the phone the other day with a fellow radio professional who was recently "laid off" and I joked with him about the irony of severance pay. You really cannot accept any new employment unless it is for a whole bunch more money that what you're getting in severance. If you decided to accept a gig with "another company" for less salary, they are quick to pull the plug on severance...sort of a Catch 22. Literally you need to wait until you've exhausted your severance before you can seriously look for a gig---there is no point in turning gigs down and wasting everyone's time. Here's what really KILLS you though. COBRA Insurance payments. If I ever do this again...have the company pay for the COBRA for six months, if not a whole year...1258.42 a month for a Family to maintain health insurance. If you have never coughed blood, you will start to cough it up around the five month mark and when your severance is done it begins to get pinched out of whatever savings you might have, pieces of your lung come up with whatever blood you might have left...not a good idea. Health Insurance costs are unreasonable by any standard...it plain SUCKS!

Here's the score. I've been sitting on my ass for Eight months now. Six of those months I got paid. The last two months has been a real test. Joy is working at a grooming shop in addition to doing her own customers at home. My website is still down and the business has not been marketed to date. I have demos for Talk Radio, Music Radio and am now working on a general VO Demo for Narration and Commercial work. Maybe I can pull some change down doing commercial voiceovers, at least temporarily. Gigs are out there and they've been applied for---some I've turned down, others are still "in process". I told a guy today that stability is important and that I'm not interested in chasing down another radio gig...I'm looking for a four year stay minimum so I can get Connor through High School...this gig looks decent out in Bend, Oregon...worth a look. Good area, good climate, lots of outdoor activities, small town, good schools...real estate is a little inflated but like I said...worth a look.

Radio has changed dramatically. The more I hang out on the outside and look in, the more change I notice, there's a lot more change coming I suspect but that's what keeps it interesting. So can I keep it interesting and look at the Mountains at the same time?

Did I mention that I shot a 78 today?

The Past, The Present and The Future

There is a local Morning guy on the radio here in Raleigh, NC, who I used to work with. He is very popular and is a talented man. One could say he has made a very good living pushing the envelope...he's one of those guys you hear on the radio that you love or you hate. Today I loved him.

He left the airwaves 26 days ago with the announcement that he had to undergo some urgent, unexpected surgery and would be out from 6 to 8 weeks. Many people speculated what it might be, others blew it off as a radio stunt for which Bob is very famous in these parts. For whatever reason, I was worried for the guy, call it a gut feeling, but I thought something was not right and that it could be serious....there aren't many things with today's medical technology that can lay you up with 8 weeks recovery time. I think most everyone thought it might be something related to his ticker.

Then came talk on the radio that Bob was about to return and tell his amazing story...they even had a countdown produced.

I tuned in, like everyone else this morning at 7am and heard Bob tell his story for close to 90 minutes before he said...I have a brain tumor.

The pain of the Past returned.

On my Son's Birthday, June of this year, it will mark 24 years since my 28 year old wife Ruth delivered our Son Jonah Christian Cummings to this world via c-section in Sacramento, California and then was wheeled upstairs for eight hours of brain surgery to remove a brain tumor the size of a tennis ball. My life forever changed on that day.

My wife was in the intensive care unit recovering from brain surgery, my son born two months premature, was in Pediatric Intensive Care fighting to stay alive. I remember being in the hospital chapel with my grandmother Ann sobbing uncontrollably and asking God why?

My three year old sister Coral Ann died of a brain tumor when I was thirteen and now this...you're damn right I asked why...I was angry, I was sad, I was scared, I heaved with emotions never before experienced in my life...I was a complete basket case unable to comprehend the events that were taking place as this was not something we prepared for.

It was sudden. We thought it was just a bad pregnancy, the headaches, the pain and the OB doctors not really knowing what was going on, until we had an intern at one of our emergency room visits say to us-

"...look, off the record, with the amount of Demerol in your wife's system, to still have this kind of pain in her head is not right, you should see a neurologist..."

We did, and in those days, Neurologists did not want to submit a pregnant woman two months from full term to a CAT Scan so it was a wait and see. The wait and see turned into another visit to the Emergency Room and when they looked into her eyes with a light, they immediately put consent papers in front of us for a CAT Scan and possible emergency surgery...it was all a blur at the time, but hearing about it on the radio this morning, 24 years later, brought it all back as if it happened just yesterday. The memory was crystal clear.

Painful.

Certainly, I do not know any details about Bob's surgery except what was shared today and honestly, I don't want to know. It's not that I don't care for the man and his family, it's the prospect of reliving those painful emotions and memories. On one hand I would like to reach out to him and his family, on the other hand, the selfish hand, I just want to move on from what was a terrible experience in my life and in my Son's life--painful memories of...

The radiation treatments that kill the tumor cells but also destroys the surrounding healthy tissue; the Dilantin that prevents your brain from swelling but can cause blackout and seizure; the Chemotherapy that causes your white blood cells to disappear, your immune system to weaken and takes away your body's ability to clot blood; the second surgery because the tumor returned; the loss of my wife's short term memory, her appetite and her inability to sleep; "experimental" Interstitial Implants of Radioisotopes in San Francisco to kill the tumor from within; the fear of the unknown; having to choose between further debilitating treatment or maintaining the quality of the life you have left; the counseling groups; the attitude that we will stand and fight and beat this thing; raising a young child who spends a lot of time in Hospital and Doctor Waiting Rooms while we wait for treatments or wait for news, the latest progress report...Brain Cancer is a horrible, insidious and unforgiving chronic disease...at times it seemed relentless and overwhelming, yet my wife, Ruth, was the most positive fighter of this disease anyone had ever seen at that time. A constant source of inspiration for all who were lucky enough to be in her presence; a tender and caring soul who loved life itself, a woman who was not just going to walk off and leave her little boy and her husband without a fight. Her fight lasted six years.

The Cancer beat her body but it did not defeat her mind, her spirit or her soul.

Today I was reminded about a painful past. I have learned to make my Present as positive as possible, to live life fully, in the moment and to appreciate what I have been given. I try to not worry too much what the future will bring. Each and every day I am thankful for one more day...one more day to experience the precious gift of life.

My heart goes out to Bob and his family. God bless.

ITS ABOUT DOING WHAT IS RIGHT

Two stories caught my eye and caused me to think...

Does anyone care? How does a person to get to a point in their life where no one notices that you're gone? Do they choose to not have any friends who might care about them? Have they chosen to be "Off the Grid"? Is this person asocial? Where is this man's family? How often have you heard that an entire person's family is dead?

Here's the worst part, how can you (or anyone) be dead in a room somewhere for seven years and have no one notice? Sad. A sad commentary on our society. This story, motivates me to think what could I do to improve my role in society? What could I do to insure this does not happen to anyone? What, if anything, could be done? What could you do?

BERLIN (Reuters) - The decomposed corpse of a German man was found alone in his bed after nearly seven years, police in the western city of Essen said Thursday.
The police said in a statement the man was 59 and unemployed at the time of his death. He most likely died of natural causes on November 30, 2000, the date he received a letter from the Welfare Office found in the apartment, police said.
Next to the dead man's bed police found cigarettes, an open television guide and Deutschemark coins, which came out of circulation after the euro was introduced in 2002.
The man's apartment was in a building with offices and apartments, many of which are now empty.
"No one missed him. No missing person report was ever filed," the police said.

NO FRIENDS, NO FAMILY, NO ONE CARED AND NO ONE MISSED HIM.

...then there is this story about Homeless Veterans. This story really puts me over the top.

People who served our Country, forgotten and thrown to the curb.

Sure the Military takes care of their own...the thousands who retire on great military pensions after 20 or 30 years of service...but God forbid you had to leave the military because of a disability incurred while serving your Country--or maybe you left the military to return to your family and your job back home or maybe after serving you discovered that a career in the military just wasn't something you wanted to pursue....

Veterans of military service should not have to endure the lack of quality care at Veterans Hospitals, the lack of mental health services for our Veterans. I'm sorry but if you served this Country as a member of the Armed Forces, YES, you should have special privileges; with jobs, with education, with learning a craft, with health care and medicine with social services, with buying a house and these benefits should be not be available to those who did not choose to serve their Country and they should be the kind of benefits that the "others" wish they had access to...but that does not seem to be the case.

Please take a moment to review The Services to Prevent Veterans Homelessness Act of 2007 and call your elected representative to ask them to support if not co-sponsor this ACT. Props, kudos and hoo- yahs to Senator Richard Burr!

From the News and Observer (RALEIGH, NC)

The issue of homeless veterans is not likely to help politicians win a lot of votes or lead to happy photo opportunities to make them look good.
In fact, when I asked Sen. Richard Burr about his championing of homeless vets, he couldn't even come up with a decent sound bite.
"It's doing what is right for the vets," said Burr, a Republican from Winston-Salem.
Homeless vets are one of those issues that can easily slip under the radar. They are often troubled men, fighting a multitude of demons -- physical disabilities, booze, drugs, mental illness, or maybe just some very bad luck.
There are more homeless vets than you think. The Department of Veterans Affairs estimates that on any given day 200,000 veterans are living on the streets or in shelters. In the course of a year, as many as 400,000 veterans experience homelessness.
"To put it in perspective," Burr wrote recently in a letter to his Senate colleagues, "conservatively one out of every three homeless men (and many women) who is sleeping in a doorway, an alley or a box in one of our cities or rural communities has put on a uniform and served this country."
It is easy to dismiss this as a big-city problem. But it's everywhere. The Department of Veterans Affairs estimates 1,600 homeless vets live in North Carolina. And 40,000 vets in the state live on incomes below the national poverty level -- not homeless, but living on the margins.
No dramatic reason explains Burr's involvement with homeless vets -- no family member living on the streets, no plea from a constituent.
Burr serves on the Senate Veterans Affairs Committee. And he is heavily involved in medical issues, so he understands something about the costs of the homeless -- veterans or otherwise -- showing up in hospital emergency rooms.
Which is why Burr has introduced the Services to Prevent Veterans Homelessness Act of 2007, which is expected to be considered in committee in June.
The measure authorizes the spending of a modest $15 million per year -- rising over several years to $25 million annually -- to provide stipends to get homeless vets into permanent housing and then provide support and counseling to help them stay there.
Homeless vets are often people with a lot of problems who need help on many fronts.
Burr, being a conservative, wants the program to start slow to see how it works. He also wants the government to include nonprofit and faith-based groups in the effort.
"When you look at this as a national challenge, clearly it's not enough money to solve every chronic homeless victim," Burr said. "But it would be enough to begin to collect the data we need to prove the success of it."
In the long run, Burr argues, such a program could save taxpayers money by cutting what is now being spent on the homeless arriving at emergency rooms.
But, as Burr says, this homeless veterans initiative is not about money. It's about doing what is right.

This bears repeating-

ITS ABOUT DOING WHAT IS RIGHT

Crazy

Watching a National Geographic Show about Gang Lockdown...what the hell?! These guys are still controlling their gangs in cities 400 miles away from inside the walls of the prison. Prisoners are still stabbed, killed, guards threatened. We are way too freaking lenient...send these fools to Antarctica, give them nothing. Why are we wasting time, effort and tax dollars on these freaks? Why are we making them comfortable? Can you say electric shock collars? Hey call me crazy.

If this wasn't enough video craziness for one evening, earlier I watched a news segment on Sixty Minutes about Mental Illness. It points out how easy it is for people who have been involuntarily committed to a mental hospital to buy a gun or any type of firearm after they have been released. How can our laws be so screwed up? Are we collectively that stupid?

Here's another crazy item. As someone who is recently unemployed, we are quickly discovering the nightmare of no health insurance benefits. The monthly COBRA payment is 1200 dollars. After six months or close to 8,000 dollars coming out of savings we are seriously considering stopping COBRA. According to the law we have another sixty days and if we do not have some sort of temporary health insurance then our "continuous coverage" lapses and Health Insurance Companies in the future will have the right to deny us health insurance if we have pre-existing conditions for up to one year or more...in other words, you're screwed and will be forced to pay full boat on all health costs which for most people is astronomical. God forbid you have some sort of chronic illness like Cancer, COPD, Diabetes, Asthma, IBS or AIDS. Vision and Dental? (Laugh here). It will be cheaper for you to just die and be buried in the ground. What? That's CRAZY!

And then again, there is still IRAQ, a bill passed by both the House and Senate to fund our troops with the caveat to begin troop withdrawal in October and we have a President who is about to VETO this bill...it doesn't get any crazier.

Come over here and tighten the belts on this straight jacket.

Road Trip

We just returned from a road trip to Kentucky...Lexington, Kentucky, the center of the Universe for Thoroughbred Horses...really any kind of Horse. Horse Heaven and the birthplace of Kentucky Bourbon.

It was a grueling 8 hour drive. Neither of us had been to Kentucky or West Virginia so it was a chance to see the countryside so to speak.

I am sorry, but West Virginia is a scary place. Coal Mining, Gas Refineries, Factories making unknown things...smokestacks spewing fire; we did not even want to stop for any reason. It's hilly and there were at least three if not four toll booth stops at a Buck Twenty five each; plus they had a couple of very long tunnels that cut right through the mountains at a couple of locations. The real fun part of West Virgina though is racing with the eighteen wheelers up and down the hills....NOT!

Kentucky is a whole other story...it was weird but as soon as the sign said Welcome to Kentucky, it seemed the environment and entire surroundings changed.

Lexington is a surprisingly cool city. Home to the University of Kentucky Wildcats and Rupp Arena where Kentucky has won more basketball games than any other college team in America. Triangle Park in front of Lexington Center has a really neat water fountain...in fact, there were numerous water fountains in the downtown area. While the downtown was a nice mix of tall modern buildings and historic homes, the outskirts of Lexington is what will blow your mind. Bluegrass galore and multi-million dollar Horse properties...one after another of HUGE mansions, "gated" drives and horse fences as far as the eye can see. One Horse Farm it took us a good twenty minutes of driving to just get to the other side of the Farm....BIG horse barns with skylights...tons of money and hundreds of beautiful pure bred horses...unbelievable. I think Joy thought she died and went to Heaven.

Equestrian fans from all over the world come to Lexington to see horses, buy horses and watch horses race...it is truly an international scene. The Bluegrass just enhances the beauty of the area...no wonder horses like it here! Joy spent the day on Monday at Keeneland Racetrack watching the trainers exercise the horses while I interviewed for a potential job. I am glad she was able to come along and see Lexington...we'll see what comes of the job--it certainly would be an interesting place to live. We are thinking of opening a Bed and Breakfast...that might be a great idea...catering to the Basketball fans and the Horse fans.

Piece of Horse trivia...Man O'War one of the biggest and most successful thoroughbred race horses of all time had a stride of 28 feet...wrap your head around that one. He is buried in Lexington, Kentucky.

Surreal and Horrific

My wife asked me if I had heard what happened in Virginia this afternoon and I said no. 21 people have been killed at Virginia Tech. What?!

I jump online and there it is. Then I tune in to CNN television. First Headline News, then the other CNN channel, then MSNBC, then Fox News and I realize that they are all claiming slightly different things. All of these news outlets seemed to be racing to be first. The first to say something that further differentiates their channel from the competition. The worst shooting on a college campus in U.S. History, then comes the alert that 31 people are confirmed dead...now it is Thee worst shooting period, and it is positioned as "record breaking"--does this make it even more newsworthy? What kind of message does this send? Record Breaking? These News channels are putting students on the air via phone asking them inane questions...I wonder if any of these are real...one guy is laughing (maybe nervously as the anchor is quick to point out-laughing is a natural reaction to something as horrific as this).

Then angles begin to quickly develop. There was a bomb threat in August, there was an escaped convict who shot a deputy near the campus, why was there a two hour window between the first shooting and the massacre that occurred, what was the Security situation at this campus and what was being done since the August threats? The shooter was Asian, the shooter was looking for his girlfriend so he lined people up and began shooting them, the shooter had a vest and was wearing belts of ammunition, the shooter chained the doors of the second dormitory from inside---where does all this come from? Are these confirmed facts from on site reporters or random ramblings of whoever is available on campus calling in on their cell phone?

"We have Tiffany on the line, tell us what happened! Are you surprised that you were allowed to go to class after news of the first shooting two hours earlier?" ---digging, looking for fault and blame, looking for an angle to run with...this IS CRAZY!

It is surreal. A horrific act of violence. Senseless. I cannot believe that I am viewing or hearing these news reports and wondering if some of the facts are distorted or just plain wrong.

Then it strikes me like a big iron frying pan up side of my head...advertising. I am trying to wrap my head around what is going on, a terrible shooting on a college campus, a massacre really--31 people are dead and between unconfirmed reports I am looking at Geico, Immodium A.D. EZ Chews, Mazda and Embassy Suites Commercials. Bigger ratings, more advertisers, higher rates, the pressure to deliver revenue budgets, the pressure of answering to stockholders, the pressure to be first...what are these organizations willing to do to be first? What happened to ethics in Journalism? Why can't we take the time to confirm the facts before reporting?

We have a WAR in Iraq that is being sanitized by the news media and to most News organizations the four year old war fails to generate ratings. Do we really care more about Anna Nicole Smith and who the father of her baby is? Are we willing to watch breaking news stories whether some or all of the facts are true or not? Is this what our society has become? Authors who plagiarize, News reporters who stretch facts, Reality Television that celebrates dysfunction? Obscenity, indecency, racism, stupid people tricks and misogyny on Morning Radio Shows and Network TV? Weather Reports that border on Armageddon? Video game war? Now I am hearing a news story that School Bus drivers could be Terrorists...what!?

It's ironic that advertisers pull advertising from MSNBC, CBS Radio and the Don Imus Show because of a poor choice of words, yet let it ride with CNN, Fox News and any other News channel reporting unconfirmed facts related to breaking news stories or making headlines out of nothing. What could be worse than "manufactured news"?

Should our news and information be tainted by advertising? Remember Yellow Journalism? Has it raised its ugly head once again...push the envelope on what is the truth, go ahead and report it, everyone else does and we will work through the facts and the truth later. Does this make your skin crawl? I am not saying this IS happening, but I do perceive it to BE happening...and I am sick over it and needed to write about it.

I just heard yet another student on the air that said, "I am not sure what is true or what is not..."

My feeling exactly...I don't know.

Who will hold our News Media to a higher standard?

Motivation

Have you ever wondered what motivates you? Why you are motivated to get up at 5am to get an early start to your day? Why you are motivated to get to your job not just on time but earlier than everyone else? Why you are motivated to go the extra mile for your kids or your loved ones or your friends? Why you are motivated to follow the rules and obey the laws? Why you are motivated to take good care of yourself?

What exactly happens when motivation leaves you? How do you get it back?

I have always believed that motivation comes from within. Others cannot motivate you. Teachers cannot motivate you to learn if you have little or no desire to learn something. Parents cannot motivate their kids to make the right choices if the kids could care less about what Mom and Dad think or want. Bosses and supervisors cannot motivate employees to do their jobs better...employees motivate their selves because employees have their own personal agenda, their own personal goals-when these match up with the goals of their employer, things get done well and on time...they could care less about what the CEO needs or wants...they care about what they need and want.

People are motivated because they WANT to be motivated...but what triggers that?

Incentives? Rewards? Recognition? Wealth? Pleasure? Cheese?

What is your trigger? Why are you motivated to do the things you set out to do?

Change

We need to change our ways. We are involved in IRAQ because of weapons of mass destruction...there are none. Are we stupid? We are still in IRAQ after four years. Young men and women come home missing limbs, some will never come home; still others have not come home outside of a coffin or body bag. The IRAQI people will never appreciate our personal sacrifice, afterall, they have been at war for a thousand years and their war will continue for a thousand more.

Do we just follow like lemmings to the cliff and jump off? Do we allow people like Dick Cheney and Dubbayah to have the final word? Or do we just say NO!

We need to say enough and we need to say enough loudly so that the stupid people can hear us. Do you really want to go on each day with a headline about bodies being blown to bits in the name of Allah? Insanity. We keep doing the same thing but expect different results. Insanity.

We are a country where MONEY trumps everything.

We are a country that is fascinated by American Idol, LOST and Dancing with the Stars...hello?! How stupid is that?

We are a country fascinated with Twitter...our life is sooo boring that we need to know what the other person is doing right this second...hello?! I don't want to know that you just popped a zit.

We are a country that pays money to watch Borat on the BIG Screen.

We are a country that gathers in large coliseums to watch organized violence. Sound familiar?

We are a country that is hypicritical...we have hypocrisy down to a fine science when it involves racism, class society, politics, religion, education, money and power.

We are a country of losers because there is only ONE winner and if there is only one winner, then logic dictates that everyone else lost or DID NOT WIN! How does it feel to be a loser?

We are a country where it's o.k. to tell a lie.

If the world ended today, there will be many in our country who don't make the cut. Think about that for a moment.

Change is our only alternative.

Change is our only choice.

Change will allow us to survive, adapt and move on.

Are you willing to change?

Rest In Peace Kurt Vonnegut

One of my favorite authors of all time Kurt Vonnegut passed today at the age of 84. He had been doing some work for In These Times. I have been reading his 1976 Book "Timequake". Authors like Kurt Vonnegut are a rare breed and special in their unique gift of storytelling. I should be so lucky to live on this Earth for 84 years...Thank You Kurt for sharing your vision of the world with me. Long live Kilgore Trout and Futurology!

What IF

There are days when I have too much time on my hands and I begin thinking weird thoughts like "What IF...?"

Then there are those nasty and evil thoughts of Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda that enter my mind....these can be very painful, very enlightening or just plain stupid.

I would have finished college if I didn't get bored with it.
I could have been a lawyer if I stayed in college.
I should have stayed in college and become a lawyer so I could pay for my kids to go to college and then quit.

OK I digress.

What IF I never went into the Army after High School?
What IF I played college football instead?
What IF I married my High School Sweetheart? (did not have one but hey what if?!)
What IF I never had any children?
What IF I became a roadie for the Rolling Stones and Keith Richards was my best friend?

You can really drive yourself nuts with the What IF game.

Maybe it's part of the "getting old" disease. This is a terrible affliction and if you begin to show symptoms get help immediately!!!

You begin to have a morbid fascination with reading the obituaries; you begin to care less about what other people think; you suffer silent pain; you begin to feel a sense of urgency about your life and the time you have left; you think about the things you have not yet done but want to do (and you think of these things often); you spend part of your day reflecting and taking stock of what you have accomplished in your life because it matters more today than it did yesterday for some reason; you appreciate things that have lasting appeal (great works of art, wonderful writing from gifted authors, music that moves your soul, true friendships, a great tasting wine); you yearn to travel the world because the stuff around you is...well...boring. OK, OK, maybe it IS Mid-Life Crisis.

Pathetic huh?

Getting old means you actually consider a face lift (Gene Simmons NEEDS a face lift---Keith Richards could use one...have you noticed lately that he resembles a chimpanzee? Look at a face photo of Keith real close---it's at the top---go back and look at it)--If Keith was my best friend I would tell him---hey you're looking like a chimp...better layoff of snortin' what's left of DAD. Getting old means you leak...wrap your head around that one. Getting old means becoming a VIP user at your local pharmacy. Getting old means you need to constantly carry or wear a pair of eye-glasses. Getting old sucks...where did that barnacle come from? What did you say? You're who? Are you sure I am married to you? What smells?

Thinking can be Exhausting.

I am thinking about getting a Real Estate License. Joy wants me think about it and then she wants to talk about it and most likely wants to worry about it before I actually sign up for the class...which is funny because she was the one who suggested I look into it. I have been fascinated with the idea of home selling...it's not about "selling" as much as it is finding a right match. Understanding what a couple or family or an individual person wants and needs in a home and a neighborhood and helping them find the right choice sounds interesting AND challenging to me. It's a LOT of work and I think one would need to be committed, passionate and very organized to do the job well. The upside is that you are in control of your own destiny--you are an entrepreneur--working for yourself and getting back what you are willing to invest of yourself...and it requires marketing skills which I can steal from my thirty plus years of doing radio.

Speaking of Radio...sometimes I get the feeling that I have reached that point where I am not willing to sacrifice for the sake of doing Radio. I realize it sounds selfish, maybe even stupid since Radio is my career and source of financial income, however, I am fairly certain that I am not willing to move to Cleveland or Detroit for a radio job. I am fairly certain that I don't want to work for programming types who don't have a clue but have some sort of status or position. I am very certain that I don't want to chase after a radio job that pays a paltry salary or to work for a radio company that thinks you are worth less because you are unemployed--it's just disrespectful to my craft and profession, yet radio is full of these types of people---looking to do everything on the cheap---and in essence that is what is wrong with Radio today...desperate times!

LUCKY

Today was Lucky's 28th Birthday. In horse years that is really old. Lucky is my wife's Appaloosa and he is a wonderful old soul who has a generous and likable personality...in fact, another animal of ours who talks-constantly! I'm not sure how people can get along without animals in their lives. It certainly puts balance in my life.

We are lucky to have Lucky!

ROCKY

Rocky is our dog; a champion stock, blue blood, black Standard Poodle who is a hulk at almost 60 pounds. He is three years old and has a very cool personality. Always smiling and always happy, except of course when he mopes, pouts and throws himself around because he ain't going with us---did I tell you he loves to GO?

Go for a Walk, Go in the Car, Go Get Busy, Go Outside, Go chase squirrels, Go play with Zoe the next door poodle dog, Go to Dog Park, Go chase Simba---he don't care where-Rocky likes to GO. If he ain't goin though he is mopin...we'll ask him to "watch the house" and he won't even look at us, we'll give him two and three cookie payments to watch the house and he'll spit them out and look the other way---a real brat when he wants to be...but most of the time Rocky is the coolest dog.

He walks. Rocky reminds us that we need to walk---without Rocky, I bet y'all we would not be walkin everyday.

He talks. We taught him how to say I Love You and he says it plain as day---for a treat of course.

We love our dog...The Pupster, Baby Boy, Rocky Racoon, The Rock Star, Poodle Head, Fancy Pants, Mister Stink, Rocky.

Saturday

Now it seems like it's Groundhog Day the movie...not just Saturday everyday...although today IS Saturday, imagine that. YARD work and I'm sore, but it was worth the effort to make it look a little better. Spring is kickin in big time and the flowers are really doing well this year. We really do have a magnificent backyard!

Been listening to Dave-FM in Atlanta online. They have moments where they sound very good-but, overall it is the most boring radio station I've heard in a while...well ok WRAL takes the cake for thee most boring-I dare you to listen online...go ahead http://www.wralfm.com you will push a bullet into your own forehead...BAD radio.

Looks like Ohio State and Florida in the National Basketball Championship Game...so far my bracket is in tact. I have Ohio State beating Florida.

On The Air

I'll show up at a golf course as a single and look to walk on by joining a pair or a threesome who already have a tee time. It's funny the looks or comments you get when you answer the inevitable question on the golf course from a member of your mystery foursome---"...so what do you do for a living?"

Used to tell people I was in the communication business and be vague on purpose...now I just tell them I'm in radio broadcasting.

"Are you a DJ?"

"Used to be years ago but not anymore."

"Oh."

People are fascinated by the media and the people who are in the media...it's not something you run into everyday and most media types want to remain anonymous for purposes of privacy...you would be suprised how many people want to become your friend simply because you might be on the radio. Who needs that?!

Thinking back on all the reasons I got into the business in the first place and being at a crossroads of sorts in my career as a radio broadcaster, I've decided to go back to doing what I enjoy the most--being on the air. I get a kick out of observing the human condition and commenting or better yet I live for the humorous moment that might make one person's life better for just a few ticks of the clock. It's about making a difference, about touching someone's soul, about communication with one another and hey it can be and is a lot of FUN.

What other job can offer that?

Not many I can think of.

In Golf You Can Really Suck The Very Next Day

Gee how would I know that?
Had a lot of fun playing a round today with Billy, Brad and my neighbor Fred, who grew up with these guys.

It's really weird to think of that...not just staying in touch with friends you grew up with but actually being in your hometown and playing a round of golf with your home boy buds...I respect that. I wonder what would have happened if I stayed in Huntington Beach, California hanging out with Gilbert Cerda,Tony Ciarelli, Scott Whitfield, Mike Fox, Bruce Peasley and others who decided to stay put...well ok some of them went of to college in different places, but eventually they came back to roost in good ol HB, a few of them left as I did. Beach Bum? Hard to tell what might have happened. I do envy folks like Fred my neighbor who has childhood friends and strong local family ties, but I would not give up the travel and the experiences which came with it over the last thirty years "away" from Huntington Beach.

Lochmere was a good track--not sure I would play it again though. The weather was 80 degrees, Sunny with a slight breeze which made for wonderful Golf. All you need is two or three holes where you fluff the ball, smother the ball or skull the ball and the wheels begin to come off. The Good News is that the last two holes were solid pars. Was happy with my Drives and the putting was very close...notice I did not say very good...speed was good despite recently aerified greens. Tomorrow I tackle Falls Village for 19 bucks and another 80 degree day...pretty soon there will be no Golf, so I better enjoy while it's here.