Saturday, December 29, 2007

Reflecting on 2007

For me personally, 2007 rates as one of the worst years of my life; it will never replace 1990, the year Ruth, my first wife passed from Brain Cancer or the year preceding that 1989 where I had to watch the spirit and fight and joy for life slowly dim in Ruth-cancer is such a mean and devastating disease; no person or animal should be subjected to this form of slow and often painful death. I'm not sure that 2007 can be worse than 1993 and 1994 where I had to endure one of the most painful mistakes of my life-a marriage to a woman who got pregnant to snatch a husband (here I am the fool who got suckered--the guy who did the right thing who ends up paying for it later) Talk about a rebound relationship! I have no regrets because I have a Son Connor who I love; maybe someday he will see for himself the self centered nature of his Mother. Maybe someday he will discover the horrible act his Mother committed in her previous life. Maybe someday Connor will understand that his Mother contributed nothing to his upbringing in his early years with me...but these are discoveries he must make alone and without my help.

2007 represented LOSS.

Income came to a grinding halt in March 2007 after the six month severance expired. Jobs were few and certainly not the pay grade of the last three years.

Joy gave up her Horse, Lucky, to a friend's daughter.

A very close and dear friend for Joy, Shelly, passed from cancer.

"Birdie" our Cockatiel bird died.

Simba our beloved Siamese cat died.

We are selling our house that we love not because we can no longer afford it, but more because it is just too much house. With no more kids in the house, we don't need the room.

Connor returned to his Mother in Redding and she has been taking me to Court in California for Child Support, all because her husband of ten years divorced her and said he had enough as well. I still waffle as to whether or not I should fight for custody, but you know what? Let Connor discover for himself what life with his Mother is all about.

For the first time in 32 years, I am thinking of doing something other than Radio to earn a paycheck.

Let's see-- no degree, no certifications, no licenses to speak of, 53 years old and the only thing I've ever done is speak on the radio or direct the programming on the radio or voice commercials to be played on the radio...pretty narrow corridor of opportunity-this radio thing. The plan is to sell our house in Raleigh and move to Savannah and rent; maybe I can use the time to get a Real Estate License or finish my degree or get some form of certification that will allow me to do something else to earn a paycheck if I so choose.

I enjoy being on the air and will probably do Mornings on BIG 98. It's all about generating content anymore, everything else is superfluous. Create great content that people want and get it on all the media platforms available. I got into this business of radio to be on the air, to entertain, to inform, to give back to the community...sometimes things have a way of coming full circle and for the better.

The last few days I came down with a terrible stomach virus or flu, couldn't eat, passed out in bed, feeling like someone punched me a million times in the stomach...the thought or smell of food made me gag. Here it is January 1st 2008 and I feel like I have purged all the toxins out of my body as well as all the bad crap that happened in 2007. I have shaved all the hair off my face and have a new outlook and feeling for the year ahead.

The prospects for 2008 are looking GREAT! Time to put the past behind me and move forward with a positive vibe!!!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

LOSS and GRIEF are Powerful Emotions


Today, Joy and I decided we had to put our cat of 9 years, Simba, down. Simba developed Feline Urinary Syndrome, which is common in male cats, tiny crystals block the urethra preventing the cat from emptying their bladder. This causes extreme discomfort and can be fatal because urea backs up into the system and results in uric poisoning.

Last week, I had noticed that Simba was trying to mark the wall which I thought was unusual. He was also looking a little thin and I said to Joy that something is wrong. We then noticed he was having trouble in the litter box and not urinating. We took him to an emergency VET Hospital and they confirmed that his bladder was firm and full and that he probably had a blockage. I told Joy that I did not care what the cost was, we needed to give him a chance...he is like a child for us, not just a pet cat and he was not going down without a fight. The bill was well over a thousand dollars, most people would say that's crazy to spend that amount of money on a cat--I really don't care what others think. After they put a catheter in him and relieved the bladder, they also found the crystals causing the blockage...he was on an IV and had a urine bag when we took him to our regular vet on Monday Morning. They did some x-rays and discovered that he had a pea sized stone in his bladder that could be dissolved through diet...the good news was nothing showed in his kidneys...he stayed with the Vet for a couple of days, we hoped that he would recover, but he gradually got worse and the Vet called Thursday to let Joy know that he was again blocked.

We did everything we could do for Simba. Joy is beating herself up thinking somehow she is responsible for what happened to Simba---I told her that she is NOT responsible.

There was a LOT of crying going on since returning to Raleigh last night from Savannah...I loved that cat so much that I could not bear the thought of putting him down. Joy spent the night holding him and talking to him and loving on Simby...every time I came into where Simba was I balled like a baby, I just could not look at him without feeling a deep sense of loss and is terrible to lose a soul you have come to love with your heart; I know I will not be the same without Simba---it will take a while for me to recover from this loss and the miserable part is that it is Christmas.

I Love You Simba.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

HOME Visit

First let me say there are too many user names and passwords in our lives...WTF, who is going to remember all this crap?!

I have returned to the land of the working stiff. It's been four weeks since I accepted the Operations Manager position with Adventure Radio (read: Triad Broadcasting) in Savannah, GA/Hilton Head SC.

It is a job. Not the best job in the world, but it allows me to pursue my Voiceover business and we get to stay in the Southeast. The cost of living in Savannah is cheaper than Raleigh. The housing market has slowed and we have reduced the price of our house twice since we listed it. The houses we have seen in Savannah have been so so.

We are downsizing by choice since Connor will no longer be living with us--which makes me sad. I know he wants his Mother but his Mother has made my life miserable...she is a poor excuse for a parent and now she is living off of other people in the name of her Son...such a pathetic existence; I feel sorry for Connor that he does not see through her bullshit.

Lucky, Joy's horse has been given to Kim's daughter, Brittany. Kim is a friend of Joy's and her daughter lives literally above the barn that Lucky will be living in. Brittany has a non-profit and she will utilize Lucky for children who are handicapped...this is good for Lucky. So Happy Lucky is getting on in age almost 29 years old and making the move to HOT Savannah climate probably would not be good for him. Joy can see Lucky anytime she wants when she is back in the Raleigh area.
Birdie has kicked the bucket. She was an older cockatiel which we all enjoyed. She could be onery and bitchy but she was a good bird. Joy returned home from Savannah, Birdie laid a rotten egg and keeled over.

Simba our Siamese Cat has a heart murmur. I am NOT going to be sending our cat to a feline cardiologist...we will see how it goes. Joy of course is showering him with attention because of his new found illness...sounds like GUILT.

Rocky is Rocky is Rocky. I missed that dog. Coming home for a short four day weekend visit, I was amazed at how much I missed having the animals around and they missed me as well...LOVE is all around.

We bought a vacuum today. After ten years the other KENMORE bit the dust so to speak...but hey ten years is a long time for a vacuum cleaner. When I was growing up we had the Monster STEEL and Iron Kirby...that thing was could drop it from a ten story building onto concrete and it would still suck the dirt...amazing piece of machinery. Now these things are made of plastic, but Kenmore continues to be a brand that delivers. It's funny how a good vacuum makes your world a better place to live.

Maureen is our STAGER. We decided that maybe we need some help in staging the house to sell. She came in and made some immediate suggestions which Joy and I have by eliminating books from the bookcase; taking the curtains down from the doors to allow light into the living room; getting some "props" to add color to the various rooms, getting rid of a Persian rug under the dining room table to better showcase the hardwood floors; removing the weight bench from the boy's room and making it into a "girls" room with brighter colors; taking a leaf out of the dining room table and making it smaller to increase the "size" of the room; getting rid of some of Joy's plants that were cluttering the's amazing how someone can come into your house and point out things that may be negatives to a potential buyer and to add things that can be pleasing to the eye. I hope this helps our cause...if not the price needs to come down again.

Did some yard work. There is something Zen about cutting grass and putting things in order...or at least it seems things are in order when you trim the grass and and weed whack the weeds and blow leaves off the sidewalk...pleasing to the eye I suppose and it gives one a sense of accomplishment for however brief a moment...yard work unfortunately never stays done. The FALL days are a little cooler, not so humid and very pleasant...of course I would rather be playing Golf, but we have work that needs to be done...maybe tomorrow.

Time for some wine.

Sunday, September 2, 2007


Well the GOOD news is that I do not think I will be "On The Beach" for a year. September 6th 2006 is the day I got laid off from Clear Channel Radio Raleigh. It was amicable for the most part, they gave me a six month severance to shut the hell up and go stand in the corner. They allowed me "resign" my position because they hate the word restructure which is what ALL of Clear Channel is doing restructuring, downsizing, cutting it what you want but it is what it is and I got caught in the cross fire. It's funny when I think about the fact that Clear Channel Raleigh is no better in the ratings than when I was the OM "almost" one year ago. They switched WRDU to Country (which I advised against), they put John Boy & Billy on in the Morning and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on Television advertising and the best that they have come up with is a 2.5 share 12+ Persons...only slightly better than the 1.9 share the Class A 6,000 watt "third" country station is pulling down...I think someone's head will roll on this decision, but it won't be mine, I'm already gone! The only upside is that G105 is now #1 12+, it's a terrible thing that they generated so much interest in the station during the Spring Book because the very popular Morning Guy revealed that he had a brain tumor---great..."The Brain Tumor Book". Clear Channel is a piece of work.

The picture at the top is my new LOGO for my Voiceover business and it was designed by Nancy Romness, a very talented Artist and friend who resides with her husband Mark in Charleston...I really like it and have already made up a whole bunch of business cards that also turned out very nice. The Voiceover business is very competitive. I will be starting Voice Coaching lessons (15 weeks) with Nancy Wolfson out of Los Angeles...from what I hear in the voice acting world she is one of the best. Had to cancel an L.A. Audiobook seminar with Pat Fraley, also a highly touted voice coach--maybe next year, he holds this workshop only once per year...damn!

By the next posting I should have GOOD News to share.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

No Patience

I read the other day that the police arrested Travus T. Hipp for possession with intent to sell. I think these days he lives somewhere in Nevada and does political (left) commentary on a few radio stations. In the day he was the beacon of the hippie philosophy and his stories and commentary always reflected that. Today Travus is still at it and he is 70 years old...the only thing I can think of is that he pissed some Republican off. What a waste of taxpayer money...leave the old man alone!

Speaking of getting old, it seems that my patience with everything is waning. Life seems especially short these days and I don't have time for stupidity when it shows itself, which lately has been often. Stupid people like George Bush, stupid people who say stupid things, stupid people doing really stupid stuff...stupidity sucks and it is such a big waste of time and in some cases skin. People who drive recklessly and feel entitled that they should go faster than anyone else and not stop when everyone else stops--they stupidly endanger everyone else on the road and they should be stopped, say with a missile launched from my 1996 Honda Accord...yeah I could do that and feel no remorse, that's how I feel about stupid don't piss me off by doing stupid things, I just don't have the patience for it anymore!

There should be a movie made about angry, pissed off women on hormones suffering from menopause that take out the gangs of L.A. and clean up the city once and for all. I would pay money to see that movie and might even buy the DVD when it comes out. Racist? Naw, just tired of stupid people fucking up the world we live in. The movement is so strong and effective in Los Angeles that gangs all over the U.S. disband, turn in their guns and go to Disney World for the first time in their miserable lives. After the three days of fun and frolicking in Orlando, they're gathered up and sent to IRAQ for the next three years and we bring the National Guard's that for a freaking plan?

Here's a joke my wife sent me...made me laugh out loud. I think people should set aside an hour each day to laugh out loud, laugh until tears come to their eyes, until their stomachs hurt from laughing...sure would be less prozac being dispensed.

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that is was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:


On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair.
He had no arms or legs. "You're not really asking me to consider you,
are you?" the widow said. "Just look at you! You have no legs!"

The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed?

"The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the door
bell, didn't I?"

The wedding is scheduled for Saturday...

There don't you feel better now?

Monday, July 30, 2007

Gene Simmons

What the HELL is so fucking special about Gene Simmons?

KISS? They sucked!!!

Reality Show?! Are you fucking kidding me?

Who am I to complain? He has a multi-million dollar house and I do not.

Gene Simmons has the KISS legacy and I do not ( but who fucking cares?)

He has a Playmate for a girlfriend (that's right not wife-girlfriend and they have two kids!)

He's making lots of m0ney. (Jonah you are a freaking loser dude!)

Seriously, I don't fucking get it...kill me now!

Smart guy though...he makes it work for him.

Fucking ROCK STARS...I HATE them!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007